Fuck...just fuck

I have neglected this due to all the summer festivities that we have been doing which has been lovely.  I also took up running which has helped my *GAD* stay at bay..its been really nice.

So why does shit get all fucked up?  How the fuck did I end up with a guy who insists on having the two drinks that he shouldn't have every time he goes out?  What the fuck.  Then he comes home and says stupid shit that I am just floored by such as "the alarm was on, you were testing me" UH...ok well since I texted you to tell you I had set it it can't be a fucking test.  And why the fuck would I bother?  AND for the record, HAD it been a test you fucking failed.  I am now working on 2 hours of sleep and I am just annoyed to no fucking end.  After a reasonably rational conversation this morning there was an apology and lots of I love you's but shit, I don't want to deal with this every time he goes out.  Am I to just sit back and deal with this?  Is this what other people do?  I know that his work partner also drinks a lot and whenever this happens he is out with him, does his wife not get mad or does he not come home saying stupid shit?  I am going to have to ask because this shit is unacceptable.  The problem is that someone is sensitive about his drinking and you can't fucking mention it without getting into an argument.  So is it acceptable sometimes for your husband to come home drunk?  How often?  Mind you this has happened twice in three weeks but that isn't normal, its typically once every 3 or 4 months.

Fuck this fuck me.  I want my family together but I don't want to live unhappily either.  A charmed life it is not.